https://sword-of-moonlight.moe/blog personal website with patchouli mascot where I talk about my otaku hobbies. en-us 60 Sun, 26 Jul 2026 21:41:08 GMT https://sword-of-moonlight.moe/blog something i always struggled with was speaking.. ive met lots of shy/quiet ppl, but none of them besides my partner are on the same level.. (one of the many reasons why i love my partner.. understands my struggles..) i feel like i can only speak maybe 2-3 sentences. i can’t speak long because if i do, i end up stuttering and forgetting words, so i just give up. whenever i need to say something long or a bit complex, i usually text it or write it down for them to read. times when i speak more than im used to, like if im playing a game with my partner and need to speak, usually it feels kinda harsh on my throat. and i quickly get a sore throat because im not used to speaking so much. when i was younger, my dream was actually to be a minecraft lets player. but it was always just a dream due to this inability to speak.. when i was 11 i did post some videos, but they weren’t so good... lots of silence and small words. not really entertaining xD “oh look a cow.. silence”. (　；∀；) the reason why im so quiet is because of a speech disorder. technically can be fixed, but i became burnt out as a child and couldn’t fix it fully… and as an adult i just avoid talking. its just uncomfortable putting so much energy into speaking a different way .. ( ；꒳； ) another reason is i’m just naturally quiet and boring.. i don’t really understand jokes, and i never know what to say. T_T insecure about this so i never vc people…. and especially don’t do group chats in general.. anyway !! lately i've been switching between cold steel 1, rance 03, and muv-luv altered fable.. they are nice. all comforting to me. :3 (yes rance too....) after I finish one of these, I think I'm going to continue .hack//g.u. because I've been slacking on that. :c trails I do need a break on ;w; playing non-stop past 4 months lol. .. maybe. Wed, 08 Jul 2026 22:45:04 GMT https://sword-of-moonlight.moe/blog lately, I have been very depressed... although that is not new. depression has been with me since I was young. I guess more depressed. (´△｀) I never know what to eat or have motivation to cook something, so I just end up not eating... I feel like my health isn't that well because of that. ;-; I already have anemia so I'm so dead everyday. T. T feel like I've also lost my ability to speak/text to others who are not my bf or make friends... I don't really talk to anyone much anymore.. dunno. today I ate lots of cookies though !! and that is all.... and I played cold steel on my ps4. it is fun. n_n athough I'm a little sad because I miss my bf.... will see him again in september.