Mistral 26/07/26(Sun)21:41:08 No.0000017 del
I don't speak much. ;-;
something i always struggled with was speaking.. ive met lots of shy/quiet ppl online, but none of them besides my partner are on the same level.. (one of the many reasons why i love my partner.. understands my struggles..) i feel like i can only speak maybe 2-3 sentences. i can’t speak long because if i do, i end up stuttering and forgetting words, so i just give up. whenever i need to say something long or a bit complex, i usually text it or write it down for them to read. times when i speak more than im used to, like if im playing a game with my partner and need to speak, usually it feels kinda harsh on my throat. and i quickly get a sore throat because im not used to speaking so much.
(yes I am jobless... but I attend an online university...! not a neet !)
when i was younger, my dream was actually to be a minecraft lets player. but it was always just a dream due to this inability to speak.. when i was 11 i did post some videos, but they weren’t so good... lots of silence and small words. not really entertaining xD “oh look a cow.. silence”.
( ；∀；)
the reason why im so quiet is because of a speech impediment from my apd. technically can be fixed, but i became burnt out as a child and couldn’t fix it fully.. and as an adult i just avoid talking. its just uncomfortable putting so much energy into speaking a different way .. ( ；꒳； )
another reason is i’m just naturally quiet and boring.. i don’t really understand jokes, and i never know what to say. T_T insecure about this so i never vc people. and especially don’t do group chats in general.
anyway !! lately i've been switching between cold steel 1, rance 03, and muv-luv altered fable.. they are nice. all comforting to me. :3 (yes rance too....) after I finish one of these, I think I'm going to continue .hack//g.u. because I've been slacking on that. :c trails I do need a break on ;w; playing non-stop past 4 months lol. .. maybe.
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Mistral 08/07/26(Wed)22:45:04 No.0000016 del
depressed...
lately, I have been very depressed... although that is not new. depression has been with me since I was young. I guess more depressed. (´△｀) I never know what to eat or have motivation to cook something, so I just end up not eating... I feel like my health isn't that well because of that. ;-; I already have anemia so I'm so dead everyday. T. T
feel like I've also lost my ability to speak/text to others who are not my bf or make friends... I don't really talk to anyone much anymore.. dunno.
today I ate lots of cookies though !! and that is all.... and I played cold steel on my ps4. it is fun. n_n athough I'm a little sad because I miss my bf.... will see him again in september.
Mistral 08/05/26(Fri)20:49:40 No.0000014 del
new items.... happy.
hello ! i've been addicted to buying second-hand goods from japan recently.. i have so many new cute items. :3c and more coming ! lol
this daki by miyasu risa is so pretty ! she is one of my favorite artists.. i adore how she draws patche so I'm glad I found this pillow case of her. maybe i will upload a full photo later, but it is nsfw. i used one of my plushies i already owned to censor. speaking of ! (* ^ ω ^) i bought a second plushie from this plush maker because i really loved my first one. the retro handmade look is so cute.. ♡
i also finally found these muv-luv charms ! so happy to own. they r a bit uncommon, had to search for a while. all of my new things fill me with so much joy and comfort... thank you for reading ! ♡
28/02/26(Sat)21:45:33 No.0000010 del
patchy shrine and bunny plush.
hi everyone（´∀｀）
recently i've obtained more items of patchouli. so happy to have. ^^ the taller figure was a gift from my partner and many of the other items were ordered from japanese marketplaces. i absolutely adore the little handmade plushie. lots of oshikatsu with it at french bakeries.(＞＜)
my bf also gifted me a bunny plushie recently because he wanted to get one like michiru shirozaki's plushie. :3 i love it very much and take it everywhere./.ヽ also always sits in my lap as i play games.
michiru is comforting to me because i find her relatable and she helps me in a way.. she made me feel more comfortable bringing a plushie with me when i go to my surgeries and feel okay being seen as a bit childish with my mannerisms. she is also often seen at the hospital in the game.. always dealing with physical and mental health.
in a month, i'll be flying to france with my bf. france is his home and i'll be meeting his mom. we will also spend a week in paris. i never traveled outside usa before.. im so excited to make more special memories with him.（´∀｀）
Mistral 08/02/26(Sun)20:57:45 No.0000008 del
new kasumi yashiro 1/8 figure + life lately
hi has been a little bit since i posted here( ;´ω`;) lately i've been playing muv-luv. it became a hyperfixation and have been spending most of my time playing. i beat the first game in a little over a week which is quite fast for me. i'm usually a bit slow finishing games.... now playing the sequal, alternative.
i fell in love with the character kasumi(＞＜).. see myself as her. her bunny motifs are adorable and i find it relatable how quiet she is. /.ヽ i don't speak as much irl because of my speech disorder, only full sentences with people i feel comfortable with. even then, i can be very quiet. she is the same and doesn't speak much. she is so comforting for this reason. i also relate to her her odd behavior, lack of strength, low self-esteem, fear of opening up to people, and how she doesn't have much experiences outside... most of my life i had no friends and dealt with agoraphobia.
despite her soft personality, she can be possessive too. she enjoys waking up the protagonist every morning and gets mad at him when he wakes up by himself. when they eat meals together, she likes spoon feeding him. feels like me and my bf. - w -
i saw her figure from a usa seller for a good price so i gave in... (ノωヽ) such a cute figure, happy to have her by my side in physical form as i play through alternative. (n_n*)
i also ordered this vanilla H 1/8 figure recently tooヽ( ￣д￣)ノ no self control lol but i've been wanting her.
♡anyways, i love kasumi !♡
07/01/26(Wed)16:29:34 No.0000007 del
touhou and yume nikki desktop pets (￣ω￣)
found super cute desktop pets!☆ I wanted to download other 2hus too, but sadly it wasn't working for some reason...( ;´ω`;) hopefully works later. :_3 wanted satori, koishi, and remi. there is some higurashi desktop pets that I wanted to try later.. will post on my website if I do.
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mkyuu..
the yume nikki one is more modern and is very cool ! can add npcs and change effects. some effects like umbrella gives little screen effects. :3c
downloads pages:
touhou -
yume nikki
bye ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
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